Inaugural Balls

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Inaugural Balls
Was a decent evening till the man from Gulf
and Western coughed a hundred clots clear across
the room. His flying dentures shattered kami‑
kazi style on a color photo of the Grand Cooley
Dam. Damn near decapitated the bus boy.
Teeth were everywhere! Teeth in the Men's
Room, teeth in the ashtrays, teethfire rattling
the walls. Out of each tooth a dead president
grew. Skin all blue and freckly. Stinking
like wet newspaper under the porch. They droned
slogans all over my face. A most dreadful way
to spend an evening.
                        So many rotting heads!
Jackson the Indian killer sang praises to the
common man. Truman's tongue was terrible. Teddy
Roosevelt's teeth were a wall full of urinals
with dead buffalos caught on the little sani‑pucks.
F.D.R. kept coming up with new and better deals.
Out of the whole bunch only Coolidge gave me a
minute's peace. All in all presidents seemed
like a downright detestable bunch of assholes
and I nearly washed my hands of the whole lot of
them till Lincoln, gentle Lincoln brought out
the better angels of my nature.